Copey rumors - "Not accurate"

Nutritional Expert with Copey.
 (dodgy tie alert)

After rumors started to circulate on the social networking site "facetube", Team Curloneout have issued a press release stating that the famous Curling commentator Robin Copeland has NOT been signed up as lead.  




The facetube rumors seem to have been started after a photo of Copey with the teams nutritional expert was published on skip Duncan Gracie's wall. A statement from the team said    "Mr Copeland was initially targeted as a potential lead but due to high levels of Shiraz and Cabernet Sauvignon found in his blood test he was ruled out on a technicality.  Wine is considered a banned substance to the team and may only be permitted in a special occasion.  We can confirm that Mr Copeland has NOT signed up to the team but will remain a close friend and the Go-To Guy."  Third Scott Robertson added  "At this stage during the transfer window it is understandable that rumors will circulate, however on this occasion they are not true and the real lead will be revealed on Monday the 1st of August.  (Weather Permitting). 

NEW LEAD SIGNED!

Deal Done at "Strength and conditioning" training.

Curl one out are pleased to announce they have signed a lead for the coming season!  A press conference is scheduled to take place at team HQ in Lockerbie on the 1st August to reveal the player but curloneout.blogspot managed to get a few words out of Second David Morton.  Speaking from his Summer holiday home at Fishbeck Beach David said - " After a pleasing performance in Monday nights strong training session in The Black Bull,  Duncan, Scott and myself all agreed on signing Mr X for the coming season.  We put this guy through the F.P.P.H (four pint power hour) and he surprised us all with his time of 58 minutes.  We Immediately offered him a deal as this time eclipsed the performances of the likes of Murdoch, Hammy and Byers"


Please check back on the 1st August to see exclusive word premier photos and interview with the new Lead!!!

Blog followers Lookalikes published!!

After seeing the " Seperated at birth " post a dedicated blog follower has emailed in these lookalikes!!

ELMER FUDD                               RICHARD WOODS

POSTMAN PAT                                JAMIE DICK

 

      STEVIE SMITH (AMERICAN DAD)            GRAEME CONNAL

         MICHAEL MCINTYRE               DILLAN PERRAS

                 GARETH OWEN               BEAKER

                                            

Curloneout.blogspot.com would like to thank Logan Gray for emailing in these classics and we urge others to send their lookalikes to flickmybutton@hotmail.com.

New Team Stylist

New look.  Craigie and Gracie showing new team eyebrows.

Team Curl One Out have added a new stylist to the payroll.  Andrew Craigie  (HNC Fashion ) has signed up to the teams ever expanding Entourage and hopes to bring the team up to date with all the latest designs fresh from the catwalks of Milan and New York.  Speaking from his Manhattan Apartment Craigie said " I am pleased to sign up for the boys, and hopefully i can crack the whip and get the lads into some top class clobber.  It was good to have Duncan out here to finalise the deal and we started shaping the teams look right away by installing an "Asbo" eyebrow on Duncan.  Andrew added  "Body Hair can be Accessorised in many ways and can be as pivotal to a outfit as a scarf "  Gracie is expected to kit out the rest of the team with the "Asbo" and also cascade the new fashion styles. On return to the teams HQ at High Street, Lockerbie Mr Gracie told the gathering press " We are delighted to have Andrew on board as team stylist and look forward to him finishing his job with Ralph Lauren in New York and returning to Scotland to start a portfolio of designs." 

"Camouflage"  New designs by Craigie

Mr Gracie also leaked this exclusive photo to the press featuring the latest craigie designs.

Whilst in the spotlight Gracie was quizzed about reports of the team signing a record deal with a high level sponsor.  The rumors escalated after a "Tennents Lager" employee was seen leaving the team HQ three weeks ago.  Mr Gracie dispelled these rumors and added " The man in question was simply at the HQ to service the teams hydration facilities."  

Also speaking at the impromptu press conference Vice Scott Robertson commented " We are currently involved in negotiations with three sponsors,  We have almost closed the deal with a local "Gentlemans club" and also the worlds leading supplier of lubricant" 

Mr Robertson insisted the press would be informed in the first instance.

Seperated at birth?

Byers out of running but target in sight

'Byers' Just not fit enough

Euan Byers has also ruled himself out of the running to sign for team curl one out. ‘Byers couldn’t commit to the strict dietary & fitness raceme we have within the team’ said a spokes man for the club. Byers has however signed for signed for ‘Team has been’ in a bid to rejuvenate his curling career. David Morton the 2^nd player in the team said ‘I’m really pleased about the deal not coming off with Byers, he couldn’t handle the pace of a big weekend’.

Team ‘curl one out’ have however arranged another meeting with a former top class player in a bid to bring him back into the sport.

3^rd Scott Robertson said ‘we have arranged a meeting with a former top class skip, he turned his back on the sport a number of years ago and it would be a great addition to the team if he takes up our offer’. The transfer target has given the team a date of the 1^st of August for an answer. It’s obviously a long time to wait but if the team can seal the deal it will bolster the squad.

The draw is out

Team curl one out have found out whom they will face in the qualifying stages of this years Scottish championships. The team open up against Duncan Menzies of Forfar, which will be a tight affair as both teams will look to get off to a good start. Speaking from his warm weather training camp in New Abbey, 3^rd Scott Robertson said ‘It’s great to see the draw out early so we can analyse our opposition. We feel if we can get out the first weekend 3-1 we’re in good shape. We start the second weekend against John Hamilton, who I expect to try and get on top off us….’ This game could prove crucial in the qualifying as if you get to 4-1 your in with a good shout of qualifying.

'Usual stance' Byers not using his brush

The hunt is still on for a lead, Hammy McMillan has decided our attractive offer was not suited to him and talks broke down. Time is running out before the season opener and an official approach has been made for Euan Byers to slot in at lead. Euan said ‘I will get back to you’. Dave Morton 2^nd player is a little concerned about appointing Euan as lead. ‘Obviously Euan was a former world champion but lets face it…if your going to sweep a stone properly you need to move your arms…this is something Euan just doesn’t do! The boys can think again if I’m pounding the pebble on my own’.

Nutritional expert signs up.

The Three P's - 
Pint, Pizza and Pomme frites.

Curl one out have signed up one of the country's top nutritionists to advise them for the coming season. Scott Hamilton has signed a one year rolling contract to provide top athlete nutritional advice.  The team began searching for a nutritional expert after a bout of food poisoning struck down star second David Morton.  Mr Morton was bedridden for 48 hours after eating a "munchie box" from a late night take away during a team training weekend.  Skip Duncan Gracie said " It is unacceptable for us to loose such a pivotal member of the team for such a long period of time.  We took the decision to employ Scott as our nutritional expert to prevent such an illness happening again."  The loss of a team member also has drastic affects on the kitty and Mr Gracie added " A kitty of only three contributors is simply unsustainable, everyone knows that four members in the kitty is idealistic.  The hiring of Scott will stop this unpleasant shortfall occurring again."  

Secondary Role - Scott in supporting position.

Scott has also taking on the additional role of  "Kitty support officer"  and he commented  " I am pleased to also take on the role of kitty support, to ensure the teams goals and ambitions are maintained.  In the event of a drop in kitty I will step in with the emergency top up funds "


Scott has already started the team on a strict new five a day diet and a grueling fitness programme, including a notorious four mile "crawl".  Check back soon for updates on the teams progress.

Exclusive spy shots

Top performance
  Mystery man shows skills that impressed the team.

Exclusive photographs of the curl one out boot camp have been published today by a undercover reporter.  The reporter (who's real identity cannot be revealed for legal reasons) managed to enter the boot camp under disguise as a  waiter and using the code-name "Rab Cowan".  "Cowan" concealed a tiny camera into his Apron and managed to sneak the camera past the strict security shake down at the Boot camp.  Once inside he managed to capture these two shots.  The photographs capture the best recruit at the boot camp in action.  A boot camp insider said that the man in the photo put up a seasoned performance at the two day boot camp and is widely recognized as a high priority signing for the team.  The news of the teams latest boot camp recruitment drive adds speculation to the chances of Hammy McMillan signing for the team.  A source close to the team informed us "Negotiations are still ongoing into the signing of McMillan and therefor a boot camp was organised to draft a list of possible recruits"

"Double 00 Heaven"
Team HQ has it all.

The exclusive snaps show the inside of the team HQ which not only boasts a snooker and pool table but also a bingo hall and jukebox which adds further fuel to the rumor  that the team has signed a high end sponsor.  Do you know any of the mystery "recruits" pictured at the boot camp?  Did you attend the boot camp? If so a cash reward may be available for any information regarding the boot camp.  Our press office can be contacted at flickmybutton@hotmail.co.uk   

McMillan the latest target

McMillan in training with the team

Rumours are rife within the curling circuit that Hammy McMillan is the latest signing target for team curl one out. McMillan has been seen socialising and training on numerous occasions through the closed season.

Asked about the possible signing team curl one out said, “Hammy is a seasoned professional who could take our team to the next level. We don’t feel a medical would be in order for Hammy as this may highlight some of the flaws in the old boys make up”. Hammy a former World, European and Stranraer super league champion is currently a fee agent after a disappointing 2010/2011 season that started with some promise. He skipped Scotland to 5^th place at the European championships but the wheels began to come off the wagon from there on in, with the team eventually blowing up and not qualifying for the playoff stages at the Scottish championships. The word is the three other members of McMillan’s team have found spots on other non-competitive teams so this move would be a benefit to both sides. A formal approach is expected in the next couple of days, with McMillan’s high wage demands curl one out might need to look for new sponsors, something they did not want to do but needs must.

“We are playing the signing down at the moment as we don’t want to get our hopes up like we did with the Murdoch scenario. At this moment in time Hammy is unable to comment about the deal”