Day1 Kinross

Curloneout out end day 1 on a perfect 2wins 0 losses. The team played fantastic this morning as they were actually still in bed as a walkover had been awarded due to Addison not being able to field a team! Curloneout then faced the Latvian championship team and handed out a good 9-2 thrashing shaking after 6. So far so good. Curloneout have now booked into the accommodation and are getting an early night as have the big grudge match against Edwards in the morning! Hmmmm not!

Lockerbie Superspiel

Team Curloneout pulled on the shoes for the Lockerbie Superspiel at the weekend.  For the first time this year they managed to provide the official team lineup for 75% of the games! Special thanks to super sub Davie McMikan for stepping in for the absent David Morton who was away getting a spray tan.  The weekend opened with a grudge match against David Hardie.  David had managed to recruit the heavyweights and had Grant Hardie throwing 3rd and Wee Hammy Hamster throwing second.  A really close game was had including 2 fantastic Jamtastic Jams from the hamster really kept Curloneout in the game.  Curloneout 1 up going down the last  when Grant made a great hit and roll to set up the 2 and effectively win the game for the baddies.  Game 2 saw Curloneout up against the mighty Canadians Who were swiftly taught a lesson when Curloneout whipped a four off them! The tables soon turned however and thanks to some fantastically shite stones  the Maple leafs had pulled it back to peels down the last.  A fantastic last stone by Kelly Marnoch left Gracie the 4 foot which he obviously canned.  1 loss 1 win brought Fridays curling to a close.

Edwards getting the round in

Friday night started well with a few quiet beers, which soon turned messy thanks to the Canadian Marnoch team. Few rounds of ends saw team Curloneout lose badly with Gracie, Robbo and Rory all falling foul to some crap curling and being forced to by the round! The highlight being Robbos £34 special round which included 2 tia marias.....??  The baying crowd were soon interested to join in the fun and this lead to more drinking games with teams Flemming and Edwards also getting involved.  One special highlight of the evening was the lovely Anna Sloan pulling a 1 in 1000 shot out of the dark... literally.  Annas conundrum ... Pick a number between 1 and 1000 , as long as she didn't get it on the nose then it then passes to the next player. Sounds simple? Low and behold, special girl nails the number in a oner!! Cue a massive cheer and the shock on Annas face was priceless when she realised the size of the next round!  The ever gracious Kenny Edwards was on hand to offer some helpful coaching tips to everyone declaring "You need experiemce and skill to win at a game like this you know"  really Kenny? Its a game of chance!!

1 in a 1000......

Lindsay couldnt be bother fighting for bed! 

After the games finished team Curloneout retired for the evening via the  Kebabbie ( 2 pizzas 1 Kebab) and finished the night off by having a lucky dip to decide bed arrangements for the night. Gracie drew lucky by pairing up with Struan Wood in the king-size double, Lindsay Gray was predictably given the single bed to himself which left poor Rory being teamed up with the feral beast Scott Robertson.  The less said about these arrangements the better.

Saturday morning saw team Curloneout take on the Dutch/Canadian superstars Van Imhoff.  The game showed the typical hungover performance we have come to view over the years of Curloneout and again was peels down the last with Van Imhoff playing a crazy tap back for 1 to win the game.  This left Curloneout in a predictable sticky wicket but the shenkel system was sure to ensure that the result went down the the wire with a final game battle off against
** INSERT NAME HERE** (i cant remember sorry).
Curloneout out made it hard for themselves but again were peels down the last and you've guessed it... FAILED.  Oh well thats that then! The Curling was finished but the night was young and Curloneout decided that on this occasion eating was definitely cheating and decided to get on it hard and fast.  highlight of Saturday was The ensuing pub quiz where Kenny declared Poirot was from Kentshire.....?? The shameless cheating form Curlonout was not even enough to claim a podium finish... Never mind Onwards and upwards. The rest of the night was a roaring success and we cant really say any more than that... "Lose Lips Sink Ships" was the quote of the night.  As a Final note there has been alot of lookalikes forwarded through the twitter and through whispers in the ear at the weekend, these are currently being vetted by or legal team but will be a posted here in the next few days!!

Finally The Caption Competition.......

Entrys on a postcard or more preferable to the Curloneout twitter page!!

Season Opens with Defeat to Dick

The A team

There was controversy at Lockerbie Ice Rink on Monday night as Team Curloneout suffered their first defeat of the season.  The Game however got under-way in shock circumstances as Curloneout could only field two players...  Curloneout stalwarts and best players Duncan Gracie and David Morton were the only team members to show up after two late call off's from the lower quality players Scott Robertson and Rory White (- correct spelling).  Skip Gracie said: 

"I had just finished a hard days work at the station when I received a call from Scott to inform me he was unable to play due to the fact he had lost his lipstick.  I had no sooner hung up from Robbo when Rory dropped a text to announce his absence due to being stuck in detention at school.  This type of behaviour is strictly against team rules and i can assure all Curloneout fans that the two players will be dealt with and fined."  

Gracie had tried in vain to replace the two mediocre players, the phone was non stop but none could step in to fill the empty spots.  A special name and shame list has been published of players who never rose to the occasion and helped the team out.  They are as f
ollows...

Scotty 'Toy Boy' Hamilton
Rab 'The Crab' Hamilton
Kirsten 'Spiderwoman' McNay
Camy 'Wee man' McNay
Craig 'John Leslie' Strawhorn,
James 'No not the real one' Taylor
Ross 'Good enough for lead' Fraser
Koren 'K-dog' Boomer
Ellen 'E-dog' Boomer

Shame on you all.

Shamer  of the week.

However disappointment of the day was team Coach / Fifth man / bullshitter - Mr Kenny 'Alan Sugar' Edwards. Kenny receives the Shamer of the week prize as he decided the best way to deal with being asked to play was to ignore the call for help and pretend he was too busy, this plan backfired however as he was spotted sitting on his arse when Gracie returned home.  

The Valiant Morton and Gracie started the Super league skins game against Robbie Dick 16 points down due to not having a full team.  The boys played really well and pulled of some exhibition shots to pull it back to a last end decider for the win!  Mogi got the end of to a great start by banging up 3 good guards followed by a nice draw round to the tack the end was going great until a 'special' shot by Coates. Playing for a hit and run to the button Coates broke his wrist and managed to get draw on the boule like you have never seen, the said stone  then picked curloneouts stone of the button leaving Gracie a must make hit and roll of a winger to force Dick to draw for 1. Gracie canned it (obviously) and Dick also made his draw for one meaning the skin wasn't one and a draw shot would decide the game.  Dick drew back 4 but Gracie could not better it blaming a lack of sweepers for the defeat! The team however did pick up some points towards the super league standings and all is to play for.... If the team turns up for next game!


As a parting shot, please can you forward us any more lookalikes you may have for this season, we already have a few good ones and a special mention to blair fraser for his suggestion!!  you can send the lookalikes to flickmybutton@hotmail.co.uk.  We are also on twitter, follow us @curloneout1 (everyone knows twitter is better than sadbook)

until next time... ciao

Shock Line-up For Summer Skins

Fifth man at work - Do u want fruit in your cornflakes Muddy?

A shock line up has been released for team Curloneout for this weekends seasonal appearance at the Stirling Summer Skins.  Due to the absence of Mogi and Rory (they werent asked to play) David Edwards a lifetime Curloneout and Rangers supporter has been plucked from the curling scrapheap to slip into team curloneout for the Skins.  Edwards who in his day was up there with the very average has been floundering around the curling scene for a few years now.  Although a scottish champion in the past Edwards no longer meets the criteria to compete in the Royal Caledonian Curling Clique play-off for the European Championships.  It is reported a lack of commitment is the reason for Edwards' sudden lack of favour within the RC and the main reason to him going from golden boy to brush boy in the space of a season.  Thankfully for Dave his younger and better looking brother Kenny Chicken Wing stepped in during a team meeting to suggest the services of the washed up has-been. Reluctantly Gracie and Robbo were forced to agree to the transfer embargo and Dave was installed into the team with immediate effect.  Speaking from his bothy in teuchter-shire a down-beaten Edwards said "Its been a pretty hard few months for me since being dumped by the elite squad. i went above and beyond the call of duty as 5th man to Muddy and Tomtastic but yet my sucking up got me nowhere.  The call up from Gracie and the boys was such a boost to me and i cant wait to get back on the ice."  As a thank you, Dave boosted curloneouts morale with the news of a £100 cash injection into the skins kitty.  

Meanwhile in the run up to the weekends competition a young wannabe has layed down the challenge to Team Curloneout.  The Youngster whose identity has to be kept secret as he is a minor has challenged the team in a childish drinking competition.  Naturally the team has accepted the young Jedi's challenge and the details of how to destroy him best are currently being formulated.  

WATCH OUT- HMcM jr

Curloneout is BACK!

Well the season is almost upon us and after literally dozens of requests it was decided a wee update to the blog is in order.  Many things have changed since the end of the season, Robbo has been busy helping with hair and make up on the "Graham Norton Show" and Mogi has even grown into his new pair of school shoes.  Unfortunately some things dont change and Kenny ( Alan Sugar ) Edwards is still a loud, smelly, skinny gimp.  After a dissapponting end to the season Kenny immediately announced his retirement (spat the dummy out!) immediately and failed to serve his notice as detailed in his contact with Team Curloneout.  This breech of contract was taken very seriously and the teams legal team was instructed to file for damages.  After a drawn out court case an agreement between the two parties was met and Kenny agreed to actually buy the boys a round.  Since the case all is well and Kenny has been re-employed as official 5th man  and beer boy on a 3-year deal.  Skip Gracie said " We had hoped Kenny would be able to join us as 'Brushboy' but unfortunatrly was unable to meet the required standard to actually carry anything.  Fortunately we have found a more suitable role for him within the team set-up as 5th Man/Beerboy."  When asked to comment on his new post Kenny told us " I am delighted to be named Head Coach of team curloneout and will soon whip theese lads into shape."  It is clear there is a discrepency in what Kenny will actually do but thats par for the course.

rory exited to take up position.

With Kenny sliding out there was a spot opened up in the team and Robbo was clear he wanted his Dumfries Rent-boy Ruaraidh Whyte given the position at Second.  Ruaraidh will forever be refered to on this blog as Rory as his real name is far to hard to spell.  Rory told Skysports news last week - "I am pleased to be asked to slip into kennys hole and look forward to getting into the rhythm of things.  I have been working hard on the specialist shots required for team Curloneout - mostly Jaeger with some sambuca thrown in."
Rumour on the scene are rife that Whyte is severly worried about his ability to keep up with the pace but at the moment these speculations are unfounded.  


In The off season, the team are playing Stirling Skins  next weekend with a disjointed one off special team... Update to follow soon.


Finally a big shout out to all the lads at Dumfries Ice rink who smashed the world record for the longest game of curling.  Three members of the team took part (Duncan,Robbo and Rory) along with 7 others from Dumfries.  The lads put in a great effort through tears and injurys and managed to set a new Official Guinness World Record of 61 hours 39 minutes 33 seconds.  Well done to all involved.

Scottish Game 3 V Cannell

After what can only be described as a training session on Saturday night with moggie cutting some Zumba shapes on the dance floor it was an early start for the boys on Sunday morning. Up against Cannell, a team of what can only be described as……Lets not go there eh!

The outcome was a bitter blow as we went down 10 – 5 after 9. After words 4^th player Gracie said ‘I think the team must have had a bad pizza last night that affected the overall performance. We were up against a young side who would have been in bed early with a bag of Haribo & a copy of Fiesta, lets face it these boys arms were pumped and ready from the off’.

Scottish Game 2 V MacDonald

The second victims for team curl one out were the punters of Ewan MacDonald and Co. Once again the big fella Gracie was all over the button like a cheap suit with his draw to the button & the hammer was his.

The first end was a complete disaster! As I write this Duncan, from all of us SORRY! We left the guy nothing really and the follicle challenged team of MacDonald stole 3 shots. It was the same story in the 3^rd and a lead of 5-0 was on the board. 4^th end and some good play and what can only be described as a PI*H call and shot execution from MacDonald presented the guys with an easy 3. 5-3 down an going for the steal MacDonald with his last stone in 5 had a half stone pick for at least 2 but it over curled and on a very tight measure it was one to the goodies and they trailed 5-4 at the break. The 6^th end was a very messy affair with good set up play by MacDonald side, Gracie with his last hit & rolled behind cover but MacDonald played a controlled double runback to pick up 4 and the game 9-4.

Post game pints with the team

After the game Robertson said ‘Pint of Best please’ the remaining 3 of the team all commented with ‘Lager please’

Scottish Game 1 V Menzies

The weekend got of against Duncan Menzies young team from Forfar, Duncan wasn’t present due to him being away on a school trip in Austria with team GB.

The draw the shot challenge was an interesting one as Chunkie Dunkie managed to just flick the button but the young guys from Forfar swept like a dog eating beetroot and put it over the hole for the hammer. Some intense pressure from the heavy weight front end of Edwards & Morton set up two steals early on but a good Duce down 3 and a steal of 2 down 4 meant the young ones were leading 4-2. Single shots were then traded until the 8^th end where the experience of Edwards in the head paid dividends, a steal of two and a 6-5 lead going into 9. One slight mistake by Robertson in 9 meant a Duce on the board and team curl one out trailed 7-6. Things were looking good for a 2 down 10 until a nice angle double and stay behind guards was played by the Forfar fandangos, but Robertson looking to make up for his earlier mistake came up with his own runback & stay behind the guards. With only a 1 on the cards the opposition decided to guard a tap back but Gracie has other ideas he could see a port and a nice route to the 4 foot. No problem for the big guy, he shaved past both guards & stuck it full in the 4 foot for the win 8-7.

Lookalikes 2012

Logan Gray, Avid curloneout fan and serial stalker has been in touch with some more lookalikes....



Rhona Martin

 

Colin Hendry





Jim from American Pie



Dave Soutar





         

             



The Sherminator

 Tin Tin

                                          

Graham Sloan

Tom Brewster 



 



Scott Hamilton



Theodore (chipmunks)

  

                                            

last minute warm up... Zumba style

Team curloneout enjoyed a Zumba session as a warm up for this weekends Scottish Playdowns.  The teams sponsor Lee Johns Gentleman's club provided a qualified Zumba instructor free of charge to get the team into shape for the strenuous weekend.  The team were put through their paces by " Chavvy Vavvy" and fortunately official camera woman Kirsten McNay was there to capture the action.  Featured here is a special solo by Kenny the wing .....

Curloneout just completed the final training session at Lockerbie Ice Rink.  After 15 jaegerbombs the team decided the ice looked lovely from the bar and they should just go home.

 

Best of luck to all teams playing this weekend and keep track of curloneouts progress on the blog...... 

last minute training session....

Happy new year to you all! Curloneout must apologize for the lack of recent posts on the blog.  The lack of posts has been due to the fact Robbo has been busy welding and grafting hard, Gracie has been Firefighting hard , Mogi has been keeping the roads open and working hard and em Kenny the wing has been sitting at a desk making cardboard boxes...... 

As the competitive curling is just round the corner The team launched into a strict strength and conditioning programme  and last weekend saw the team reach their peak during a Zumba session.  In collaboration with Lee Johns Gentleman's club the team busted some shapes on the dance floor and it was all going well untill Kenny Edwards broke the "no wine before nine" rule.  After several bottles at Skip Duncan Gracies pad the calipers were well and truly off and the teams strengths were put to great use.  Fortunately Official Curloneout Camera woman Kirsten McNay caught all the action unfolding and here is the footage!