Super league defeat

Team curl one out were at full strength for their super league game on Tuesday night and were hoping to put in a good performance in preparation for this years Scottish championships. The opponents were the team of Jamie ‘Jockstrap’ Strawhorn, after loosing the toss it was Jamie who elected to try and steal the first end with the format being skins. As always a slow starting Gracie was forced to try and carry the first end over, a draw to the button was required and the cuddly Gracie obliged. The second end was a complete disaster with the team playing 0% and Jamie picking up the double skin and 8 points. The 3^rd end was a little better but a nice take out from Craig Strawhorn put pay to any chance of a skin and another carry over, 4^th end and 3^rd player Scott Robertson decided it was time to make things interesting by throwing his take out towards B sheet and completely missing everything! The result was a 24-0 defecit at the midway point. Skip and lead Kenny Edwards rallied his troops and gave them a stern ticking off and told the team to get there fingers out and told Dave Morton to stop sucking his thumb. The 5^th end was a little better but once again Gracie was left in a difficult position and was unable to register. With their backs against the wall it was imperative the team got on the board and they did in the 6^th and stole the single the needed. 7^th end and some superior set up play by lead Kenny Edwards meant Gracie was left with an east tap back on a tight guard to pick up 2. Well Gracie must have thought he was trying to tap a stone in Dumfries as he played the tap at peel weight & blasted it through the back and gave up the skin. With the game all but over the score was 50-12, the teams both kept the house clear meaning a draw the shot was taken to determine the final skin winner. Fire-fighter Gracie went first and amazingly plopped it right on the money covering the lid perfectly. Jamie was feeling the pressure and his usually steady slide was rather shaky as he set off to draw the pin, sweeping like a 40 year old vigin even Sandy Smith couldn’t get it to the four foot and the skin went to team curl one out. Final score 50-30

‘Disappointing defeat but we will learn from this’ said Scott the 3^rd player, ‘a few more training sessions are needed before we hit top form’ he added.

From Moscow with love xxx

Takin time out to see the sights

Team curl one out’s spying mission continues in Moscow, today our inside man headed for Red Square. He tried to get into see the body of the famous Lennon but the high security put pay to his attempt and the decision was made to bail out and go for some lunch instead.

Our spy’s findings are beginning to make their way through and the feedback from him is the standard is ‘very low’. He also commented that ‘should the team of curl one out represent Scotland at the worlds, there is nothing to fear’.

A full detailed report will be issued upon our spy’s return.

Man down in Moscow!!!

Team curl one out’s spying mission in Moscow is going well, ‘the standard is pretty low out there on the Men’s side’ said our spokes person. On arriving at the airport our spy picked up a copy of Maxim magazine and much to his astonishment he found some rather compromising pictures of the Russian Women’s Lead Ekaterina Galkina.

Our spy is now currently recovering from blindness and serious cramp in his right arm & hand. Our Bet365 predictor is going well with our balance sitting £56.43 in the black…..wooooooo! But could have been another £100 had Murdoch not lost to Snitil!!!!!

Moscow Spy

Team curl one out in association with Bet365 are pleased to announce that for the forth coming European Curling Championships we will cover all games with outstanding odds. The team have even sent a spy out to Moscow to see what the team may be up against at this years World Championships. Scott Robertson 3^rd player said “we’ve had to send out a spy to take a look at what we’re going to be up against, due to other public appearances we have been unable to make an impact on the European tour this year. Moscow is a great place and an opportunity for our unnamed individual to attend was on offer so we took it with both hands, with Vodka only being £3 a bottle I’m sure a few training sessions will take place.

Use Bet 365 & promote curling http://www.bet365.com/ go to more sports to find curling on the left.

Super League win for TCOO

Team curl one out started their 2012 Super league campaign of with a commanding performance on Friday night against Rupert ‘Robbie’ Dick. The team had to draft in another world class second as Dave Morton was again absent due to him no being allowed out after dark. Young Cameron McNay stepped up to the plate and showed potential that might see him take up a permanent slot in the super league. While most of the national amateur teams were in Inverness playing for big cash prizes, the team thought it best to stay at home and put in some good practice away from the media spotlight.

With the usual top end for team curl one out arriving at the rink in familiar fashion, (after the bell) it was guns blazing from the word go. The format for the League is that of skins and it was a right skinning from the off. The team were on the steel from the start and easily picked up the 4 point in the first with an easy steal. In the second it was again the front end of Edwards & McNay that got the guards up early and got round first, the Dick couldn’t make a run back with his last and another 4 points were on the board. The 3^rd and 4^th ends were both carried over meaning the 5^th was worth a massive 28 points, again it was textbook from the young athletes forcing Robbie to play a runback for yet another carry over. The sweepers were earning their corn for Robbie as they managed to sweep the strike past the long guard but it clipped the tight guard just, 36 – 0 after 5.

The score line was obviously beginning to grate with Robbie and he began to wake up in end 6, a difficult angle raise double was nailed by Gracie with his last but left Robbie sitting one by a matter of mm! Robbie played a difficult draw through a tight port to fully hit the 4 foot and get the granny off. End 7 and not much to say but Gracie missed a relatively easy double to take the skin, Score 36-26.

Final end and all to play for, even though team curl one out had been all over the opposition throughout it was a tense finale. In the end up Gracie was forced to draw for the single and go to a draw shot for the game. Gracie played his draw tight as usual and ended up on the tee-line about 6 inch’s from the pin. Robbie was a little over enthusiastic and called the sweepers on early, the farmers pounded it all the way to the top of 12. They looked up and watched as it cursed past the tee and out of the four. Win for the goodies 54 – 26.

Thanks to Cammy for playing and showing us old ones how it’s done.

Cammy getting squashed by Gracie

Summer training camp video release

You may have asked yourselves what do member of ‘Team curl one out’ get up to during the summer months and how have they prepared for a hard season? Well over the next few weeks we will enlighten you on some of the training techniques used by the team to prepare and get them selves in shape.

Starting at Lead: Kenny Edwards

Kenny spend 4 weeks at a warm weather training camp in America and as you can see from the picture below he had a great time in San Francisco.

Kenny taking time out from the sun on Fishermans warf

Behind bars like he should be at Alcatraz Island

Following this he then moved south to LA and on through Death Valley for a stunt which the team and media had set up. The stunt is called the ‘bullet dive’ and only highly trained athletes can perform such a dangerous stunt. (Kids please don’t try in the bath at home, Logan……that includes you!)

Next to give you an insight of his training schedule & techniques will be second David Morton.

New Photos up...

Please check out the Photos section for some snaps from the weekend!!

Robbo displaying techniques that got him in the team.

Curloneout lift trophy!!

edwards drops one

Team curloneout have lifted there first and probably only silverware of the season by winning the Dumfries Lions Trophy for the second year running.  The weekend got off to a bad start right away as the team had another injury blow dealt to them when second Davie Morton was ruled out of action with a severe bout of the Gary Glitters.  Favourite substitute Scottie 'Big Boy' Hamilton was unable to slide into the team at short notice so an SOS was put out and Top Castle Douglas curler Davie McMikan answered the plea at the eleventh hour.  Davie a close friend of the team was brought in due to his excellent accuracy and speed with the pint glass.  Disaster almost struck before the first game of the weekend when Skip Duncan Gracie was almost rendered unconscious in the car from a Kenny Edwards fart.  It was touch and go for a while  but brave Gracie managed to battle through the pain barrier.  The first game of the weekend was but to bed early and the team on 11-1.  Game 2 was up against the Dumfries ladies team ( Sisters of Mercy) and Duncan and Kenny decided the best form of attack was to soften them up pre game with some old music on the team wireless.  Some may say this was dirty tactics but all is fair in love and war and after a couple of songs by ABBA the Sisters were under the command of sweet talker Kenny.  After a shaky start from the team which was not helped by Gracie's requirement to leave for his work halfway through the game the team ground out a convincing result and won 15-1.  Saturday morning saw team curloneout top of the schenkel and would be playing a good Graham Sloan team who were close behind in second spot.  The Game got off to a good start and the 1st end was well set up by Kenny the gimp and Davie the Farmer. which left Robbo a couple of nose hits to lay 2.  Sloanie was teased into a tricky double with a loose shot (unsurprisingly) from Gracie.  Fortunately Sloany Jammed on a cheeky 12ft biter and left gracie an easy draw for 3.  Gracie showed no fear and flicked the button for 3.  The good play continued untill end 5.  At the start of end 5 the team were 9-3 up and cruising.  Holding the brush after playing his two stones, Kenny Edwards had what can only be described as a mental breakdown and decided that instead of hitting for home he would "Mix it up".  This played right into sloans hands and he couldn't believe his luck when he got back into the game with a nice 2.  Edwards received a swift kick in from the boys and after taking his anti lunacy pills got back into the right frame-set for the 7th and last end.  Unfortunately third Scott Robertson decided the last end was the time to play like a 90 year old pensioner and after a couple of hugely entertaining misses left sloan lying 3 when Gracie came to play.  Gracie still fuming with edwards's replapse in the 7th ended up with a teaser to win the end but was dangerous as it could of gifted sloan a 4 and a peel.  Bravely Gracie chucked it up the wing and lost a 3 but took the game 9-8.   The win set up a 'Final' against local superstar Jim Hogg -  'Dog'.  It was a close game and some nice play in the second saw a steal of 2 which put the team on the front foot and made it difficult for the hogg dog to get back into the game.  The Team went onto the last end 1 up with last stone and the game was won with a couple of big rips from Davie McMiken cleaned up the end and left Gracie an open house when he came to play.  With Jim Hogg - Dog leaving his last freeze attempt short the game and trophy was won, Gracie rubbed salt into the wounds by slipping a third rock into the button for a 3 final score 8-4.  

Champs 2011

A couple of special mentions are in order...  Firstly to Davie McMikan who slipped straigh into the team without any issues and played very well in all 4 matches.  Davie's good performance has put him up to first reserve and any more poor excuses from David Morton may see him promoted to full time Second.  Davie's unique sweeping tecnique is clearly grafted from sweeping the byre but it proved pivotal in managing the tough dumfries ice.  Also a special mention goes to David Owen, Claire Sloan, Daddy Owen and Derek Purdie who took an 8 ender in there game against Graham Sloan.  Dave had to rip a triple to lift it and played it perfectly!! Well done.

Daves 8

On the Ice

Team curl one out have taken the chance to defend there Dumfries Lions Title this weekend, The team opened up with a convincing 11-1 win over the Cairns CC. It was a late decision to enter and defend the title said Scott Robertson. It was great to see Kenny back on the ice and his experience shone through and we picked up a convincing win. The game was delayed slightly while Kenny curled one out before the game which we were glad about  as he nearly killed Duncan with his flatulence in the drive over.

Next up is the ladies at 5pm……report to follow.

Team get new HQ

New HQ

Team curl one out must apologies for the shortage of reports over the last couple of weeks. The team have been experiencing some technical problems at team HQ as a result we have had to pull out of our current deal and sign up with our new official partner and hydration facilitator the ‘Black Bull’.

The view from the bar

Speaking on the new deal Kenny Edwards said “We have unfortunately been forced to strike a new deal for the 2011/2012 season, this was something we didn’t expect to happen but with the lack of ‘Clunge’, access to Internet and hot bar maids the change had to be made”. With all the issues behind us we should be able to move forward and get a few training sessions in before the Scottish comes around.

New Training Techniques..

Top technology at team HQ.

With the competitive season fast approaching, Team Curloneout have been undertaking some serious training using video analysis techniques.

After a 5 minute practice at Lockerbie Icerink, the team headed to Team HQ (M.A.C.C) to start their gruelling training session.

The purpose of using video analysis is to ensure the teams’ hand to mouth co-ordination is second to none for the start of the season. Any flaws can be picked up and corrected. The equipment used is basically a video camera on a tri-pod and a stick with a piece of string hanging from it. Sounds like a Del Boy invention from the garden shed but other sports swear by it and back this up with great results.

Skip Duncan Gracie said , ‘’To continually perform at a high level and meet the elite standards set by our fans and sponsors we need to be using the best training methods at least once every couple of months. The equipment we have been using today was supplied to us by Belhaven and is the best in the business.  It will not only help improve our hydration skills but in the long term will save us money on ‘spillage’. After a long session the consumption of a pint may sometimes only be 90% due to ‘imbalance’ or ‘legless’, so after this training session  100% consumption will hoped to be achieved at all times.’’

‘Boabby’ the bar man added… ‘’These lads are on the top of their game right in time for the start of their season, I am proud to say that we have some exceptional athletes using our facilities and soon these boys will be in the same league as the dart, snooker and domino players who train here.’’  

"Chug" of the day goes to Second David Morton with this textbook example of how its done.  Well done David, perhaps this photo can inspire many curlers to achieve perfection.

Injury update

The X-Ray the night of the attack

Team curl one out has issued the following statement regarding the injury to world-class lead Kenny Edwards. “Kenny’s injury is beginning to heal after what was a concerning period for all the staff hear at HQ, It was thought he would be out of action for up to eight weeks but has been back in training already and put in a good session of ten hours on Saturday” Edwards did bail out early with his nurse around 12 before things got messy and possibly picked up another injury.



The X-Ray after 2 weeks



Speaking from his tanning cab in Lockerbie Kenny said “I’m back in training after what can only be described as a career threatening injury, I am disgusted with the service provided by our employed security staff. Keith and his team need to buck their ideas up and protect me, or I could be getting measure (touched) up by Frazer Hare before long. I have contacted Frazer for a team rate but his receptionist said he was away laying some turf and would get back to me”.

The team have another training session for second Dave Morton’s stag doo soon, where all the team will be put through their paces to see if they are abiding by the teams strict dietary and fitness requirements. The team have also purchased some ‘TOYS’ for Dave to play with on his doo, please come back soon to see him humiliated/violated.

Weekend Review - Dumfries

Firstly a congratulations  to Frazer Hare and his team on winning at Dumfries! Whenever Team Curloneout saw them play Frazer had the game by the chord and was well in command. A well deserved victory, made more impressive due to the fact Don Frame was using a 16th Century antique brush.  On that note team Curloneout have enquired into the legalities of the apparatus and are awaiting a response to their legal team.

Curloneout's opening bevvy with some adoring followers.

Regardless of curling results, a mammoth session had been arranged and Saturday night did not disappoint.  However some issues must be cleared up immediately.  Firstly There was a severe shortage of team members attending the training session and excuses were collected and reviewed the findings listed below....


 Name                            Excuse                                     Verdict                        Punishment


Kenny Edwards           Broken Arm and Shoulder          Absence Approved             Hard Slap
David Morton             On Call...                                       Must Improve                      1 Round of Jager
Scott Hamilton           Wife wont let him                         Hangable Offence               Back sack + Crack


The Three ashamed parties have agreed to improve their efforts and their performance will be monitored.  Also on the report sent to the procurator fiscal regarding the weekend was Team McCleary.  Gav Fleming and Lee blatantly flaunted the no wine after nine rule and there will be consequences.  Gav Fleming was also under question after this snap was captured.

Kenny oblivious to the attack..

Fleming was apparently checking out Kenny's broken arm but it is clear from this snap  his eyes are  fixed on the toned athletes bum whilst he cops a feel of Kenny's wing.  For any other would be perverts out there please be warned this type of behaviour does not go unpunished! 
After a couple of sambucas at the ice rink, purchased by Gavin Baird  (with curloneouts kitty) the training session lead by Scott Robertson and Gracie continued into Dumfries where some Shandy's were had and also.........  


.... Well we cant say any more, loose lips sink ships.  Your loss if you weren't there!


Finally there is underground  rumors the team are in talks with an new sponsor located in the local area.  

crashing out....

Curloneout 5 - 8 Sloan

Team Curloneout failed to qualify for sundays quarter final matches at Dumfries Ice Rink.  In the last group game the team faced the top of the section team Graham Sloan.  After loosing a schoolgirl 5 in the second, team curloneout were always on the backfoot as Sloan's team hit for home perfectly.  Sloan took the five with some impressive shotmaking and unimpressive play from all on team curloneout.  Sloan played for home and played superbly to not give the team a chance to get back into it.  In the 6th end David "Fishy Fishbeck" Morton did some quick carol vorderman maths and realised the team were short on ends.  After the final stone it emerged the team lost out on a quarter final spot by one end.  Speaking after the game Skip Duncan Gracie said " Obviously we are disappointed to be out at such an early stage however it is clearly not our fault.  The blame lies entirely with the schenkel system  and the draw! Joking aside it was a tricky couple of games against McCleary and Sloan and some poor shots cost us.  Our injury woes caused us staffing problems and team nutritionist scott Hamilton was clearly not up to the job being outplayed by is 11 year old cousin"

Hitting form

Game 3: Curloneout 8 - 5 Morton

The team re-hydrating after a convincing win
(Scott was unable to attend the picture
due to him brushing his hair)

The Saturday morning draw seen team curl one out take on another top local team in Heather Morton. The team got off to a great start and in the 4^th end third player Scott Robertson showed his class and dumped two in-turn draws round the only corner guard in-play to apply some pressure. The outcome of the end was an easy draw to the 8foot for 3, but Gracie wanted to rub salt into the wounds by flicking the button and covering the pin for a 6-1 lead. Some good play in 7 from stand in lead Scott Hamilton and second player David Morton left the team lying 4 when 3^rd player Robertson came to play his final shot of the end, Robertson was attempting to hit and run on of an opposing stone but decided to take out one of his own giving Morton an opportunity for an easy 2 which she duly done.

Gracie was once again jubilant after the victory “the guys played solid today making thing easy for me, Robbo had a slack one in 7 due to him perving on the skirt that was on show. This is something we will all be working on throughout the season”

First win on the board

Game 2: Curloneout 12 - 4 Kingan

After an opening defeat it was imperative team curl one out raised there game and gained a point on the board. Second up were the local team Kingan, who play most of there curling at Dumfries and understand the difficult ice very well. Maybe the pre game pints had an effect as the team started slowly giving up another soft 2 in the 1^st end. Some good play in the second resulted in an opportunity to strike back with a 2 of there own but being forced out wide on fresh ice Gracie pulled up short as usual to only score 1. The turning point in the game was in the 5^th end when the experience of the heavy weights Gracie & Robbo put pay to any chance of the promising young team getting back into the game. With his final stone Gracie played a run back to sit 3 guarded leaving the young skip with a difficult draw out wide to cut the damage to one, young Kingan must have had to much Haribo as the weight was a little heavy & drifted through the back leaving curl one out leading 7-3. The team controlled the game from then on in closing out the 8end game 12-4 winner.

The post game interview with Duncan Gracie was one of great optimism. “Wee Dave was back in the squad for tonight’s game and struggled to find his weight early but showed what he can do in the back end off the game. Big Robbo showed his class late on tidying thing up well not giving the young guys a chance, and well as for myself I think I was pure dead brilliant by the way.”

Season opens with defeat

Game 1: Curloneout 3 - 7 Mcleary

The team ready for action at the season opener

Team curl one out have started the season with a devastating defeat, the team went down 7-3 to Lee McLeary in Fridays 3pm draw. In the first end they gave up a soft 2 and from then on were always chasing the game. Going down the 8^th end curl one out trailed Mcleary 6-3 but the opposing 2^nd player and new father Gavin Fleming decided to make things interesting by flashing twice in the same end to leave the pre tournament favourites lying 3 in a good position. Some slack stone positioning and shot calling nearly put pay to any chance of a big end but a nose hit by Mcleary left Godzilla Gracie a difficult triple to win or tie the game. Gracie surprisingly came close to lifting all 3 but unfortunately gave up the single to loose the game 7-3.

Speaking after the game Gracie said “It was real hard trying to get things going out there, we’ve had to draft in our nutritional expert at lead and that was probably the difference today. Looking at the stats young Ellie Hamilton out shot Scott 88% to 46% so you’re always going to struggle."

The team would like to thank Lorna Vevers for stepping in and playing a solid game at short notice to help the guys out after our injury problems.

Olympian steps in to help injury woes....

Multiple Scottish champion and 2010 Olympian has stepped in to save a struggling curloneout team.  Lorna Vevers from Lockerbie has minutes ago signed up to replace David Morton in today's 3pm game.  Dave is stuck in school till half past three and couldn't make the season opener.  Today Game at three features an unusual line up of two former champions and world medalists  and also two punters Robbo and Gracie.  Check back later for a game report....

Good Curling.

Nutritional expert steps up to the mark..

Hamilton in his usual position.

Curloneouts top nutritionist expert Scott Hamilton has stepped up to the mark and taken a position in the team during the teams injury crisis.  Star lead and international superstar Kenny Edwards has been ruled out of this weekends opener where the team were pre tournament favourites.  Kenny attended Dumfries infirmary today where he discovered his arm break was worse than initially thought.  After a very thorough examination it was revealed his arm was broken in a second place and thus throwing away any hope of a weekend return.  Kenny said " I am devastated to be injured for the weekend.  The team will all miss my vital expertise and experience but i will be able to assist our coach and take notes from behind the glass."  After an emergency meeting last night Scott Hamilton was promoted into the team.  Scott is well qualified for the job winning the Scottish championships in 2004 and winning world junior bronze medals in 2004 and 2006.  The team were initially concerned about letting such an irregular out-turn into the team but as they are desperate Scott would have to do!  The team currently still require one player for tomorrow's afternoon opener at Dumfries due to David Morton being unable to get a note to leave school early.  A team insider stated  " A shortlist of players has been drawn up and interviews are currently taking place"

INJURY BLOW!

IDIOT

Team Curloneout have been dealt a massive blow as star lead and professional stuntman Kenny Edwards has broken his upper left arm during a team training session.  Kenny was playing football with Duncan and David at team HQ in Lockerbie.  After a suspiciously vindictive slide tackle Kenny was unable to control his left "Flipper" and it crashed into the fence.  Late last night Skip Duncan Gracie had to take Kenny to hospital and a subsequent X-Ray confirmed the teams worst fears.  Kenny is due back in hospital on Thursday for further examination however it is looking bleak for the teams first competition at Dumfries this weekend.  Duncan Gracie told us " Kenny got a clatter at footy and turns out has broken his arm,  the only ray of light is that it is his already broken left wing.  Kenny is in good spirits and is hopeful of strapping up the arm and playing on regardless at Dumfries!"  Gracie added " We are holding an emergency team meeting tonight to try and solve the team shortage,  We already need a sub for Fridays game and Sunday as 'Fishbeck' Morton is unable to play as he is still at school till half past three on Friday and is attending a wedding fair on Sunday.  Now Kenny injury may force us into trying to find two subs!"


Obviously this is not the start to the season that the team wanted so keep checking the blog for injury updates and the latest news.......



THIS IS TRUE. KENNY HAS BROKE HIS ARM UNFORTUNATELY.
Gracie x

'Gray found guilty of breach of the peace’

Team curl one out’s biggest fan Logan Gray has been found guilty of breach of the peace. Gray appearing at Dumfries sheriff court on Friday pleaded guilty to the charges brought against him. Judge Michael Woodie told Mr Gray “you are a very lucky man not to be serving a custodial sentence for your actions on Friday 3^rd at the Mid Annandale Comrades Club. I find you guilty with beach of the peace due to you conducting yourself in a severe enough manor to cause alarm to ordinary people and threaten others, this may have caused a serious disturbance in the community” Wood went on to say “I have spoken with the Curl one out team and they are willing to give you a trial position on the squad. The team have suggested you take up the post of trainee facilitator, your duties will include pint getting, shoe cleaning, baby sitting Mogie and opening team fan mail".

Over the moon -
Gray leaving court with his long term partner

Wood sentenced Gray with playing a full season in what people call normal clothes & not the ridiculous flamboyant camp attire you are used to. He has also been instructed to buy the first round for the team at every tournament they enter.

Gray spoke after the case “Im so excited about getting the chance to socialise with these guys, I worship the ground they walk on and want to service there every need!”

Kenny Edwards of team curl one out was at court to witness the sentencing, he made a brief statement following the case. “I speak on behalf of all the team, we are happy with the final outcome but feel Mr Woodie went easy on Gray. Our second player David Morton had requested Gray be made to wear his gag-ball in public but the judge felt Gray’s private life should be left well alone”.

Intruder arrested at Team HQ

Gray Flaunting himself as police close in..

A police statement issued today, tells details of a man arrested in Lockerbie for stalking team Curloneout.  Logan Gray who gave his address at Dumfries Sherriff court as "Strathview terrace, Balfron, Stirlingshire" pleaded guilty to breaking and entering and also causing others to be in a state of alarm at Lockerbie Mid-Annandale Commrades Club on Friday the 3rd of September 2011.  It is said Gray had become infactuated with team Curloneout and was desperate to be involved in the setup in some form.  After failing several interviews for the main team it is believed Gray became insanely jealous of the team and informed friends he would "Get revenge".  The Final straw for Gray was when team Curloneout signed up "Lee Johns" Gentleman's club as their main sponsor.  He decided the best way to get near his childhood heroes was to dress as a "Lee John Bunny".
Unfortunately Grays hastily planned scheme was rumbled by the teams ever vigilant security expert Keith MacLennan.  Keith -  known affectionately to the team as "Big Beefy Keefy"  collared Gray as he tried to join the other bunny's during a training session. Keith took Gray down in a split-second and held him until the police arrived.  Keith told us " I Immediately spotted the intruder in the line-up,  he had made a good effort in his costume design but i have seen better legs hanging out a nest! " 
Due to the kind nature of Team Curloneout, Skip Duncan Gracie attended the hearing at the high court and added to the proceeding that the team wish no charges to be brought against Mr Gray and that they team would be able to offer Mr Gray a position in the team as part of a rehabilitation programme.  The Judge took the teams comments on board and Mr gray was released on bail whilst the judge compiled background reports.  
No-one from the team was available to add further comment at this time.

Main Sponsor Signed

Robbo and Kenny... Lucky Girls

Team Curloneout have finally put pen to paper on a lucrative sponsorship deal.  Lee Johns Gentleman club has won the battle to become the teams main sponsor.  Club Owner Lee John clinched the deal with a six figure undisclosed fee.  Speaking from his orifice in downtown Lockerbie Mr John said " Its great to sign up these young talented and enthusiastic men to promote my business.  I was really keen to sign the team as they are all regular big spenders in my establishment and from my dealings with them i  always see them come out on top."

Smoking Police at Lee Johns are strict.

After landing such an impressive sponsor the team felt it was fitting to organise a photoshoot charity evening.  The pictures here show the team hard at work promoting 'Lee Johns Club'.  Scott Robertson said in an interview " Firstly i would like to thank Lee John and his employees for giving us the opportunity to promote the brand nationally,  we hope to repay Mr John by winning some televised games and ensuring a steady stream of visitors to his establishment." David Morton, team second and VIP member at Lee Johns said " This is where i spend most evenings, its a great place to unload and relax after a hard days work.  I cant wait for more Photoshoots like this.

Following tonight's photoshoot, the team are straight into high intensity training for the coming season, which begins with a grueling training weekend in Liverpool for David Mortons Stag Doo. 

David greets Lee John Staff

New Challenge for Team Curl One Out

Team members of Curl One Out are to embark on a slightly different challenge on the 2^nd October. They are to take part in the Bupa Great Edinburgh 10k run in aid of charity.

Speaking on his return from a warm weather training camp in America Lead Kenny Edwards said ‘Our team is fully committed and prepared fitness wise for the season ahead. We thought whilst doing this we may be able to raise in the region of £500 for charity’. One of the nominated charities is the Scottish Brachial Plexus injury service, information about the service can be found here: http://www.brachialplexus.scot.nhs.uk/ 

3^rd Scott Robertson said ‘The service has played a big part in getting Kenny fit and prepared for the forthcoming season so we feel we need to repay the favour some way and this was it’.

We plan to run for a second charity, but we are still finalising things at our team HQ.

If you wish to donate please contact the team at: flickmybutton@hotmail.co.uk

Ask Kenny...

'Dear Kenny........'

After Curloneout HQ received literally hundreds of letters and fan mail Team Curloneout's newest signing and all round good egg Kenny Edwards answers your questions. 


Question from Logan Gray of Balfron: 


"Kenny, Ive Always wanted to be able to play an out -turn like you.  Can you please give me some advice so i can improve"


Kenny says: "Hey Logan, thanks for your question.  The key to a perfect out turn delivery is you need to caress it like a lady, treat it with respect and don't release your rocks too soon! Good curling."


Question from Ross Paterson of Glasgow:


"After having a disappointing season last year being barked at from hammy.  How could you help me improve my confidence so i can stand up for myself ? "


Kenny says : "Ross, Self confidence has never been an issue for an international superstar like me.  Firstly i would start by improving your appearance as first impressions are made with the eye.  Try wearing mans clothes rather than baby gap tank tops.  Remember my motto : Rock out with the .... out"


Finally a Question from Richard Woods from Lockerbie: 


" Wayne Rooney has recently returned from a hair transplant.  I was considering similar cosmetic surgery myself, what are your views on cosmetic surgery?"


Kenny Says : "Having frequented many hospitals and underwent many operations including Four skin grafts i would advise against it.  To  pull off obvious cosmetic surgery you have to be a world class superstar like Wayne, therefor i am sure you will agree its not for you.  Kind regards. "



Please send more of your questions to flickmybutton@hotmail.com !!


Check out Kennys updated player profile in the team section.

Fantasy Football - In Association with Curloneout.blosgpot.com

Logan throwing In-Turn...... Tight.

Curloneout's biggest fan Logan Gray has asked the team to sponsor his fantasy football league.  If any one is interested in entering a premier league team into Logan's league then you  have to be quick to enter a team as the season starts on saturday!

Go to www.dreamteamfc.com and use the following details to join us...


Mini League Name – Scottish curling
Mini League Pin – 253115
Mini League Password – biscuitbase


We hope many of you enter and join the fun!!


Photo taken from edinburghinternational.blogspot   many thanks.

Security Team Hired

The Names Bond....

Due to the current situation in the United Kingdom team Curloneout have hired the services of a top drawer security team. Because of the high risk of looting and personal attacks at team HQ the team decided to employ Keith MacLennan Security Services to protect them during the season.  Skip Duncan Gracie told us "We were amazed at the massive turn out for Kenny Edwards' press conference and frankly the possibility of an insanely jealous competetor or lunatic fan attacking the team was too much of a risk to take.  Therefor we decided it would be prudent to employ a security team to protect us and keep an eye on team HQ.  A key factor in employing Keith was the fact Kenny would be unable to fend of a left side attack from an attacker or spurned lover due to the misfortune of being right arm dependent."  Gracie added " Since Kenny's horrendous injury received through falling off his Pogo stick,  I have always been fearful of a savage attack on him.  Scott (Robertson) suggested we employ someone to watch over him due to the fact he was only playing lead and would be regularly brushed aside."  

No Invite... NO ENTRY !!

Chisel faced, Thirty year old MacLennan  from Perth has been high protector to the stars for a long and successful career and his high profile clients include the likes of Jimmy Saville, Carol Smilie and up until last week The Duchess of York, Sarah Ferguson.  Schooled at Eton, MacLennan pursued a military career and eventually graduated from Sandhurst military academy and became Commanding officer of Dads Army before moving into private security.  Mr Maclennan this afternoon said " I am delighted to have taken up the position as head of security.  The team made me an offer i couldn't refuse and i took up the position immediately.  I have already trained the teams chauffeurs in evasive driving and installed 360 degree surveillance cameras at team HQ.  I also Have a crack team of ex elite forces providing 24Hr protection and on ice security for the team.  These special agents will unfortunately have to remain anonymous so there operational effectiveness is not compromised."  


The message going out to all would be attackers this season is.......

 'Watch out! Keithys  about!' 

First silverware for Curloneout!

The Laughing Cow!

Team Curloneout has lifted the first silverware of the season!  Team Mascot 'Fred the Cow' has skipped a team to victory in the Stirling Summer Skins trophy.  'Fred' who has been employed by Team Curloneout since early July became the first staff member to lift silverware this season and has earned himself a weekend at a 5 star Barn under the Staff reward scheme.  Speaking from his Milking parlor at Brieryhill Farm Lockerbie Fred told Curloneout.blogspot.com " I am over the mooooon to have became the first member of curloneout to win this year.  I have a great support team behind me and i have even been promised a 'week aff '  by Duncan so i look forward to that"  David Morton speaking from team HQ added " I am absolutely delighted for Fred and his team.  Even though this appears to have been a 'Mikey Mouse' tournament i could not be more proud of our mascot" 

Fred recieves the winners cheque

 Fred Pictured here with tournament organiser and Curloneout's biggest fan Logan Gray is looking forward to defending his title next year summer.  Fred added " Stirling Summer Skins is a great event and i urge curlers of all ages and ability to enter next year. If a cow like me can win it then you can too!"  Tournament Organiser and all round nice guy logan also chipped in " Keep an eye out for next years competition and join the stirling summer skins group of facetube! "


Photos are from Skip Cottage Curling, with permission.  Many thanks to Bob Cowan.  Please check out his blog the link is above! 
  

** World Exclusive ** New lead revealed !

"Happy as Larry" - Edwards meets the press.

Team Curloneout can finally reveal their new lead for the coming season! The long awaited press conference named Two time Scottish Champion and World Bronze medalist Kenny Edwards as the teams lead for 2011 - 2012.  A Crowd of literally dozens turned up at the team HQ in Lockerbie for the big unveiling.   Speaking to the press for the first time Kenny said " I am over the moon to have signed for the team,  Its been a long hard selection process but thanks to the staff and facilities here at team HQ i managed to get myself up to speed with the boys and into top physical shape for the coming season.  I would like to take this opportunity to thank everyone at HQ for their assistance in making this dream possible and especially Marilyn from the B.A.R for her hydration guidelines. "

"Delirious" - Top table stifle their Excitmement

Also speaking at the press conference Skip Duncan Gracie told the crowd  "On behalf of everyone at team curloneout i would like to welcome Kenny to the team.  We have been involved with recruiting Kenny for a long time now and put him through his paces at strength and conditioning camps at  Newcastle racecourse and also our Merseyside training facility 'Tiger Tiger'.  It is a great honor for us to have someone so average join our team and are especially thankful to have Kenny playing with us after a horror injury whilst acting as a stuntman for Hugh Grant left him without full use of his left arm.  Luckily Kenny sweeps and drinks right handed so this should pose no restrictions."  After the packed press conference Mr Edwards stood to attention for several photographs and signed an autograph for the waiting fan.  
On Leaving the HQ with Scott Robertson, Curloneout Second player David Morton summarized "We are looking forward to starting the season and stringing some results together,  We are still in talks with some more potential sponsors and look forward to receiving their financial backing.  For the meantime we send out or thanks to our existing sponsors and thank them for their nutritional provisions"

"Mobbed" - Edwards greets Paparazzi

Check back soon for more top news, photos and stories.  The Team would welcome any questions you may have and hope to collate a Q & A session in the near future!  Please don't hesitate in sending your questions to flickmybutton@hotmail.co.uk